Rush Of Desire
by forevrrx
Summary: Bella Swan lived a guarded life, by her overprotective father. After she's forced to get married to her long-lost best friend, she lets go and tries find her own spot in the world. What if it was in the arms of Edward Cullen? B/E
1. Chapter 1

_Bella Swan lived a guarded life, by her overprotective father. After she's forced to get married to her long-lost best friend, she lets go and tries find her own spot in the world. What if it was in the arms of Edward Cullen? The man, who every father detested and every mother shied their child away from. The man who taught her how to live and love. B/E_

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Sometimes in Life, you don't get what you want. No matter how much you yell, scream or rebel, it just doesn't come your way.

Like Bella Swan. From the moment she was born, her father took the responsibility to decide all her decisions. It didn't matter whether it was what she should eat or who she befriended. Charlie Swan made her every move.

From Elementary, she only had one friend; Jacob Black, the only person Charlie accepted to be her friend. The pair were best friends since diapers, well actually since the day their parents forced them to play together in the sandbox. Their fathers already made plans to get them married. And the mothers gushed over how cute they were together. It was the happiest time for Bella. She had a friend, she could play with everyday. But all good times came to an end when Jacob moved away in the fifth grade leaving Bella friendless and alone.

Middle School passed in a blur. Every morning, her mother would dress her in a long sleeved blouse, and tie her locks in a tight ponytail. As she passed by the living room, she had to get Charlie's approval before leaving the house. At school, she was always the quiet girl who sat in the front. No talked to her and no one noticed her. She was invisible. Bella focused on school, Charlie said if she got anything below an A, he wouldn't feed her for a week.

When she graduated from Middle School, she entered Forks High School. It was a good experience except when Lauren Mallory poked fun of her of how Bella was dressed or how plain looking she was. The four years went by quickly. Bella had a friend Angela who she occasionally talked to in the tenth grade, but Charlie forbade her from speaking to Angela again because he said she was a bad influence. She wasn't permitted to go to any of the school dances, after-school activities. She wasn't allowed to talked to boys let alone date them. Bella wasn't allowed to do anything without Charlie's say.

**Bella**

Today was the last day of High School. In the halls everyone was either crying or cheering with their friends. However, I cleaned out my locker and left the building, before pausing and whispering a soft goodbye.

I wouldn't miss this school, because I never left anything. It was just a place where I wasted my time filling my brain with knowledge I already knew.

I walked home the same path I walked for four years, to attend and leave school. I kept my head down, with my hands in my jacket pockets, thinking. Charlie said I had to be home straight after school, As if I didn't for the past years. But, this time it seemed important. Wonder what it is.

I turned a corner before seeing my house. It wasn't big but it wasn't small either. The red bricks, and white porch and brown garage doors made it look perfect. Just how Charlie wanted. My father was a private investigator, working for the town. And my mother, Renee was a house wife. My parents were married in an arranged marriage. They never loved or cared for each other. They hardly talked behind closed doors. They made themselves look in love and happy in front of others.

When someone looked at us as a family from the outside, they would say we were perfect, a beautiful family and we had a loving connection.

Psh, loving connection my ass.

Charlie would have my ass if I ever said that out loud.

When that someone finally gets hit in the head with a bottle and really opens their eyes, they would say that we were broken, unhappy and a depressing family. The father was over-controlling bastard and made it his life purpose to ruin his daughter's life. The mother was a little puppy dog following her husband, afraid he'd kick her out. And a daughter who was weak, too weak to even stand up for herself.

_What a happy family, we are?_

I sighed and stepped into the porch, unlocked the door and let myself in. Though I wish I never did.

Charlie and Renee were sitting on the couch, perfectly poised. And a couple was sitting across from them.

I recognized them as Billy and Monique Black. My face lightened up in a smile. Jacob! He was here.

Charlie cleared his throat and said, "Bella, you're getting married. Now go fix us some tea."

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	2. Chapter 2

**Bella**

Marriage. Marriage!

No! This can't be happening. I'm not ready for this. This isn't right, I'm supposed to be in love and content .

The smile long gone from my face. The tea was fixed and already served. Charlie and Renee were discussing the date of the wedding.

I blanched and ran to my room. I started to pace back and forth, biting my nails nervously.

Wait, who am I getting married to? I remembered the Blacks in the living room. Jacob? The boy I haven't seen in forever.

No, this cannot be happening, I'm dreaming. I laughed unheartedly. Yes, I'm sure this is a dream. Now, I'll just wake up screaming any moment now …. Any moment now.

Fuck! I ran a hand through my hair and furiously ripped my hair from the ponytail. Pain shocked my scalp, but I ignored it. I fell crying.

Would my parents really do this to me? Do they hate me that much? I'm only seventeen. I have a whole life ahead of me. Why are they tying me down now? I felt powerless and tired.

I faintly heard the door open and a frantic voice yelling, "Bella! Bella! Wake up!" before I slipped into darkness.

**[ ROD ]  
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I opened my eyes to feel a soft texture around me. I looked around to see myself on my bed. Someone must've carried me here. I shot up and rubbed my eyes. My head pained a bit. What's going on?

"Oh, you're finally awake! Do you realized how long you've been asleep?," The familiar voice said. It was a man. And he was big, his arms and legs were bulged which frightened me a little. Though his deep brown eyes and dimpled smile relaxed me.

He is awfully familiar. Where have I seen him before?

"Bella? Hellooo?" He said curiously. I blushed realizing I must've been looking at him weirdly.

"Uhmm, you are…?," I croaked out, my voice still deep from the nap.

"Jacob! Remember me? We used to make mud pies when we were five," He answered.

Jacob! I jumped out of my bed and hugged him.

"Oh Jake! I missed you so much," I said affectionately, embracing his warmth. "God, you've changed so much,"

"Well, did you expect me to still be in my 11 year old body?," He joked.

"I take it back. You haven't changed at all," I replied, as he laughed.

He sat down on the bed calmly. There was a small silence between us.

"I guess you heard, huh?" Jacob asked. I nodded my head.

"Yeah." There was nothing I could say. It was dealt with and over.

"Do you want to?," I questioned nervously. Did he like me?

"Honestly, no." I couldn't help it, my heart dropped to my stomach. Was I too ugly? Was I too fat? Charlie said I looked decent, never beautiful or pretty … just decent.

He saw my expression, and immediately said, " I mean, I like you but as a sister. You've grown up into a beautiful women and I don't want to marry my best friend."

I understood, what he said. I kind of felt relieved mainly because he didn't have those feelings for me.

"What about you?" He asked.

"Me? Oh, of course not. I want to be in love when I get married. I want to wait until I finish my education before I plan for marriage. I just want to be happy, y'know?," I looked at Jacob, he was staring at me, listening to what I had to say. It felt good, knowing that at least one person appreciates my thoughts.

"Bella, uhm..there's something I need to tell you..," Jacob scratched the back of his head.

Suddenly the door snapped open, my mother entered with a bored expression.

"Jacob," She drawled," Your parents are leaving, and Bella come down to escort the guests out,"

I nodded and made my way down. I heard Jacob's heavy footsteps behind me.

_What was Jake going to tell me? Is something wrong with him? Does he want to marry me after all?_

I nearly tripped down the stairs, stuck in my train of thoughts.

As Jacob left, he gave me a nervous glance, silently begging.

I frowned, was it _that_ important?

"Bella, come downstairs please," Charlie called out after the Blacks left.

I complied and stood before him. Soft violin music was playing in the background. Charlie was fond of violin music. When I was 10, he signed me up for classes. But I did horribly, even the music teacher said so. Charlie was so disappointed that I didn't even try to play and yelled at me for hours. But he didn't know that I stayed past my bed time trying to get all the notes right.

Charlie met my eyes, I hope he saw the plea and sadness in them.

"I know, I haven't mention about this wedding to you, it was unexpected." Charlie turned his head away and began. I suspected he ignored my emotions. " The Blacks are interested in joining our families together. You should be grateful, that they picked you. That fine man could've had any women, but he settled on you. Billy mentioned due to some conflicts, They want the wedding to be done soon. So, We've decided it to take place on July 7th."

**July 7th.**

Three weeks. Its seems like a long time, but I knew it would pass by like a flash. I simply nodded my head, and fiddled with my blouse. Tears pricked my eyes, so I kept my head to keep Charlie from seeing the waterworks.

"Tomorrow, you will decide on the invitations with your mother and Mrs. Black," Charlie grimly explained. "Then you will make dinner, The Blacks are coming again. Your mother might not be able to help you, because she is busy at that time. And do not cook anything with peas, Billy is allergic to them,"

I nodded again, like he expected me to. He quickly dismissed me, and I turned around with tears in my eyes and ran to my room.

**[ ROD ]**

_Thanks for reading. Review please!_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't anything. All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer!

o.O.o

**Bella **

**(Three weeks later)**

It was the night before the wedding. I laid in bed, tossing and turning.

I was anxious, scared and about to cry.

The past few weeks were a blur, all of my time was packed with dress fittings, flower arrangements, and cake tastings. Monique and my mother mostly argued half the time, excluding me out. They decided that the wedding would be in the Local Forks Church, and no reception, due to the short amount of time. Only close family members would be invited like my Nana, my father's mother. She was the only one who appreciated me, and made me feel like I was worth living. I remember, in summer, we would start making cookie batter, but end up being too lazy to bake it and just gobble down the cookie dough raw.

I smiled, and looked at the clock beside. The glowing numbers read 3:47.

Only a couple more hours until I'm officially Mrs. Jacob Black. I grimaced.

Bella Black. It doesn't sound right, it doesn't click.

Me and Jacob were in awkward terms right now. We didn't get a chance to speak privately because of the rush. I felt weird knowing that I'm getting married to man that I haven't seen for 8 years, I didn't even know him. I don't know his favorite color, his favorite music or if he prefers peanut butter instead of nutella. Or the other way around.

Another image flashed into my mind; the future.

Would me and Jacob end up falling in love? Does he want kids? I want kids..just not with him. I shuddered even thinking about doing … _that _with him. I know its sound childish, but I don't have much experience. Hell, I've never even kissed a man before. In school, boys usually just ignore me, or brush by me like I'm not even there.

Would me and Jacob get a divorce? My heart felt deflated. The embarrassment coming back to my home, saying that I'm no longer married. The disappointment I would see in Charlie's eyes. And the anger in my mother's eyes because I lost a perfect man.

Tears fell down my cheeks again. This was 23rd time I was crying this week.

I feel helpless. Like no one's going to help get out of this unwanted marriage. Why couldn't anyone listen to us? Why doesn't our opinion matter? This is mine and Jacob's life their playing with, not theirs.

There was a sudden rush of anger in me. How dare they control us like we're puppets? They have no right? I'm lawfully eighteen and I can make my own choices.

The anger disappeared, and cowardice flew in.

But I can't…I'm too scared. What if I bring shame to the family? What if Charlie disowns me? I'll have no where to go. I took big breath and gulped.

I'll just have to face it. Alone.

_Bella was standing outside the closed doors, her arm wrapped around her fathers holding a bouquet of white lilies. Her wedding dress, was white and simple, with lace sleeves up till her elbow and a sequined bodice. The dress flowed out plainly when she walked. She wore large pearl earrings and a diamond necklace gifted by her mother-in-law. Her hair was pinned up into a bun, with tendrils loose from the bun._

_Her father beside made no move to support her or try to talk to her. He just stood there until it was his cue to go. Bella looked forward and focused on the wooden doors. She gripped the flowers tighter, as her heart beat faster and faster. Blobs of sweat rolled down from her hairline, her hands started to feel clammy, it was time._

_Bella could the "here comes the bride" tune playing from a piano. The doors swiftly opened, and 30 pairs of eyes were looking at her, including her husband to be._

_He was dressed, in a black tuxedo and his usual flattened hair was slicked back. He also had worried eyes. _

_It didn't even feel like Bella was walking, it was more of Charlie dragging her and yanking her arm calmly. Each step brought her closer to Jacob, and much too soon for her liking, they had reached the altar. Charlie released her arm and placed her in front of Jacob._

_He smiled weakly, and the priest began. _

_"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony…," _

_The priest droned on and on. Her hands were on Jacob's thick ones. _

_Honestly, to her it felt disgusting. It seemed like she was getting married to her brother. _

_When priest came around to say, "Isabella, will you take Jacob as your lawfully wedded husband?"_

_Her mind went blank, she hesitated. She had no idea what to say. She eyed Jacob, who just looked at her back with no emotions, he kind of looked like he was going to cry. _

_"I … uhm … do," She blubbered out, not realizing what she said. Jacob closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _

_"You may now kiss the bride," _

**[ROD]**

**Bella **

My eyes widen. My heart stopped.

Shit, my life is over.

Okay, well this is awkward.

The wedding was over. I was now Mrs. Jacob Black.

And the newly happy couple was congratulated, hugged and had rice thrown on. Then we just escaped into the car. The ride was quiet, neither of us had the guts to start a conversation.

Now, we are both in the Hotel room. Jacob is in the washroom getting changed and I'm still sitting on the bed with my wedding gown on. I looked around the room, it was pretty fancy but it wasn't like the honeymoon suite or anything. Our parents organized that to be in Miami

Jacob came out of the washroom dressed in flannel pants and a shirt. "Hey,"

"Hey" It was the only thing I could get out of my mouth.

"Uhm, I think its about time we talked," He explained, and I agreed with him, "But after I change and wash up,"

"Sure," He stepped aside, and I gathered my pajamas in my hand and retreated into the washroom.

When I came out, Jacob was sitting on the bed and watching a TV show, he seemed to be silently laughing. It was cute, in a way.

_Shut up Bella, stop thinking like that!_

"Uhh, I'm ready," I started, and walked over to the bed to sit down.

Jacob turned the television off and turned to me.

He looked insecure, " I know, this is extremely awkward for us, I mean getting married after we didn't see each other for years,"

" Bella … I don't know how to say this." He paused. "Bella, the reason why you are here today is because of me, I-I.. This is difficult for me to say," Jacob had his head down, and frowning.

"Jacob, you can tell me anything. Don't worry, you can trust me. I won't tell no one," I assured.

He didn't talk for a few minute, and there an unsettling silence between us.

Jacob finally looked up with worry in his eyes, " I'm gay,"

My mouth dropped.

Whoever said, the "honeymoon" is the best part of marriage is a fucking idiot.

**[ ROD ]**

o.O.o

_Hope you enjoyed it! Review Please!_

_BTW, Edward will be coming soon. Just not right now, but soon!_


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